Talk About A V Chip!

Vagina. I am saying this word a lot! I have said it more in the last few days then I have probably used it in my whole life! Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. You can also throw clitoris in there as well. Clitoris. Clitoris. Clitoris. Clit. Why, you may ask, am I obsessed with the words vagina and clitoris? Well, I am rehearsing for the Vagina Monologues for the VDay movement that works to stop violence against women and girls. We are a little late in putting up this production, normally they are done around Valentines Day, but what the hell—a good cause is a good cause. What I am finding surprising about this process is that there is a part of me that does not/did not feel comfortable with the material! How crazy is that? I was raised very liberal and even my mom went to one of those “Vagina Workshops” (one of the monologues I am assigned). I feel very comfortable talking about birth control, comparing a diaphragm to a taco from Taco Bell (one of my favorite monologues I have ever written), but vaginas, vaginas, vaginas made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Looking at this, I realized that I had been programmed to feel this way even though my mother did her very best to fight this societal tendency. It is amazing to think that women’s sexuality today is still a taboo subject. It is also amazing to think back on those “science books” I had when I was a child that describe a woman’s sex organs as passive entities waiting to be conquered by the male’s active manhood. I keep thinking of Woody Allen’s “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Was Afraid To Ask,” scene where Allen was dressed in a all white sperm jumpsuit ready to plummet, surge and invade the awaiting “passive” egg. I have also been assigned the “Woman Who Loved Vaginas” monologue. This is the now infamous monologue that ends in an array of moans that represent orgasmic climaxes. Talk about being a bit uncomfortable! It never occurred to me that there could be so many different types of moans. I have been working on the moans and, like the character when she was young, fear they sound artificial! Now some of you will tell me “practice makes perfect.” Yes, Yes. Good one! Really, I did not see that commmming (ok, I am pushing it here). But moaning for the stage is a bit different than moaning in the moment in bed. Moaning for the stage needs to be choreographed and specific. The sounds must be distinct and acute and exact. No two sounds should sound alike in my opinion. I am thinking about taking a moaning survey from friends to garnish sound samples! LOL Anyway, this is my new project and I kinda wish I had no new project, at least for a month. But one should not look a gift horse in the face. With this said: Vagina and out. R