Thursday, May 04, 2006
One of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen is Whoopi Goldberg’s face. When she smiles, I experience a sense of joy and warmth—giddiness and delight. Even when she is serious or thoughtful, her face glows and beckons. The other night, George and I were watching a rerun of Star Trek The Next Generation, "The Dauphin" 1989, the episode where Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton) falls in love with an alien girl who appears to be human, but is in fact an alien who can change her genetic makeup to be a monster or, in her natural state, a being of light. At the end of the episode, Wesley says he will never be in love like that again. Guinan (Goldberg) smiles and agrees: no you will not, all loves are different. After that scene, both George and I said almost at the same time: God she is gorgeous. Goldberg’s teeth are also beautiful and radiant. I am not sure if they have been worked on, but who gives a crap? I am jealous of her teeth. My teeth are not attractive in any way, shape, or form. Last night, around 1 A.M., while eating a cheese sandwich, yet another tooth broke off—number 13 on the upper left side. I am happy that this only seems to happen to my back teeth (knock on wood); however, it happens too often. I have always had bad teeth—weak teeth. It has never really mattered how much I brushed and flossed—they are just not happy teeth. Not only are they weak, but they are unattractive. I have seen worse, don’t get me wrong, but I hate seeing myself smile. My mom and dad also have weak teeth but my sister, somehow, got a good set of choppers. My dentist got me in early this morning for an emergency look into my mouth. The verdict? Another crown is needed. Another crown—God, if only they felt as royal as they sound. Hearing this always worries me. A crown runs about $1100 and I almost always need a root canal to boot. Not a good way to start off the day. At the dentist, I saw a new product called Lumineers. How beautiful was the woman’s teeth in the picture— Whoopi Goldberg teeth! I sat in the chair, dreaming of illuminating teeth in my mouth. How they shined and how I smiled with joy and abandonment. In my daydream, like a TV ad, people flocked to me because of my teeth. I was the envy of all teeth in all the world. Success followed, financial of course, as well as an improving love life—I am happily married but in my dream men are falling all over me, giving me flowers, no candy (god forbid), but backrubs. It was a beautiful dreamy moment, until I asked the price of this new technology. They are about the same amount as a crown, $1100 per a tooth. Considering you would have to do all teeth that show when you smile, that is a shit load of money—far more than I could ever afford. I counted—8 teeth on top and 10 on the bottom. Multiply by $1100 for each tooth = $19,800 (not including all taxes and other hidden costs). If affording one crown is a problem, this is out of the question. So I live with my current, unhappy, teeth. But enough about my teeth, let’s return to the beautiful and talented Whoopie Goldberg. I have commented on her beauty, but I also want to comment on her talent. As many of you know, I am, by my first profession, a comic actress. Like Goldberg, a character actress. The first time I saw her one woman show on TV, “Whoopi Goldberg: Direct from Broadway,” 1985, based on her one woman show, "The Spook Show," I was taken by her. In 1985, I was just graduating High School and preparing to go to college where I would study acting. After she performed her “Surfer Chick” monologue, I was left speechless. I had laughed my ass off through the entire monologue until the last moment when we find out that this young girl gives herself a self abortion. I knew right then and there that this was the type of material I wanted to write and perform. Exactly. I had already tried to do so, as I only wrote comedies that dealt with serious issues, but Goldberg showed me how to do it right. I was enamored of her talent. No, I was in awe, pure awe. I wished I could touch her so that some of that talent and know-how would rub off on me. Just a small amount, not enough to jeopardize her own work. And at the same time, maybe her magical teeth would some how fix my teeth—damn that broken tooth hurts like hell right now—more Advil needed. And what about Whoopie Goldberg herself? I have never met the woman and most likely will never have the opportunity to do so. Like the Lumineers, it is a pipe dream. But I imagine that she is as endearing as her smile and her talent. Yes, when she is performing, the only way I know her, she is acting. But as an actress, I can tell you that you cannot perform convincingly unless you are pulling from something very real within yourself. That’s the key, to be able to access those parts of yourself—good, bad, ugly or beautiful—and amplify those aspects for your audience. With this to go on, I suspect that she is as beautiful inside as she is to me outside. I suspect she is a deeply feeling woman, able to laugh and cry with abandonment when needed. I suspect she cares deeply and desires intensely. I suspect she shines brighter than her smile and her teeth. A being of light.