The Ultimate Rejection Letter

I did not write the letter below (you can find the original post by clicking here). I stumbled upon it as I was surfing the internet. Being an academic who, for the past 3 years, has been buried in rejection letters from universities--I found this rejection letter pleasing and delightful. So I am sharing it. Credit goes to the website "chaosmatrix.org" which seems to have been inactive since 2007. But this letter should live on! And for whoever wrote this, whether it was Chris L. Jensen or not, I hope you got a secure tenure position! Here it is:



____________________



Herbert A. Millington

Chair - Search Committee

412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University

College Hill, MA 34109



Dear Professor Millington,



Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.



This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.



Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.



Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.



Sincerely,

Chris L. Jensen